Bad decision

I have to say at this point that getting an insulin pump was not a good choice for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love this pump but the way the world conspired against me and the pump is just too much to ignore. I do not blame the doctor at all. She did her job and was more than kind with the amount of time she spent on trying to get it all adjusted correctly. As I said the world just did not see it fit for me to have this. The first week I had it I had 5 visits from the local EMTs to correct low blood sugars. After that got better it moved to the day time while I was at work. I have had more than just the two most recent at work but they are the ones that have left me with a huge problem. I think all together there have been about 4 or 5 times at my most recent job that I have had to have help getting my blood sugar up. Now some people have told me I should be able to sense those lows and eat something before it gets bad. Well I asked the doctor that same question and was told due to the long length of time as a type one diabetic I had basically lost the ability to feel the lows very well. In one incident I went from 125 to 24 in about 40 minutes. As of this week I have been off work for 6 weeks with no income. This is the latest stint of unemployment. Last time I was suspended / placed on leave, I was off for about 12 working days. The amount of time is critical to this being bad. I was able to get my first unemployment check after being off five weeks. So picture having no job and no income, at all, for 5 weeks. Now I don’t have know how anybody else’s life works but I have bills to pay which have actually grown because of doctor bills, medicine, the pump payments of course, and even two ER bills form going to the ER after the ambulance guys fixed the problem. That’s on top of the normal bills I have, house payment, phone bill, gas for truck, repairs on truck, and repairs on house. Maybe this is all leading me to better spot in life. Please no I’m not going to hole up in a cave somewhere and never speak to a human again. I mean that without the house I might be able to get some assistance. I went  through the online assessment and found out I couldn’t get much assistance. If I had kids I’d have all kinds of help but I never got married. I have missed one house payment already and soon will miss the second which I can not believe will go unnoticed by the bank. The worst part is I am living with my mother who will have to go to a nursing home when I loose the house. Nice going son. Thanks for the upgrade in housing. Long story short, maybe I should have just stayed with 5 shots a day and two separate kinds of insulin. Sorry but I just had to get this off my chest and onto paper. Well not paper but some kind of writing material.

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