Its been a long road but I’ve finally got the book up on Amazon Kindle. Here’s the link to go visit and maybe buy. https://www.amazon.com/Imprefect-Diabetic-Memoir-ebook/dp/B077WY66C3/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1512878909&sr=1-1&keywords=Robert+Grabowski . You can get it ebook or paperback. I beleive I have said before and I say it again in the book itself that it is not a how to or not to do book. It is simply a collection of some stories from day one back in 1977 when I was first diagnosed as diabetic. Not all of the stories, but I share some doosies. Nearly dying from infections, trying a pump that did not work out so well, current treatment strategy which is actually going back in time to an insulin I used many years ago, before all the newer 24 hour developements. I am in no way saying they are false or misrepresented but just that they didn’t, don’t work for me.
In fact, recently I was tested since my reaction to a new pump was not how it was supposed to happen. I am type 1. I’m just so sensitive to insulin that the programming in the pump can’t react the way it is supposed to. I’ll just say it out loud so no one will feel self-conscious, I’m weird. Not normal. Odd. Most will say physically but other will say mentally as well. I’ll give you both.
Why? Obviously since my need for insulin is lower than most and it seems to change so greatly from day to night. I work nights so the change is not how you would think. During the day it tends to run high. I help it out with, as the medical people call it, grazing. I eat when I get home from work. I do not bolus until I eat breakfast which can be as late as noon on some days, guess what my blod sugar looks like. At night when I’m at work it goes the other direction. It drops, far and fast at times. Quite the change from day to night which is why I suggested switching to older 12 hour insulin to allow changing the doseage instead of taking it one time a day and being stuck with the dose for the entire 24 hours. Still working out the kinks in that process. The 24 hour insulin I had been on started at 25 units a day and by the time they talked me into trying the pump again I was down to just 4 units a day. It still dropped at night. From 25 down to 4, did I mention I was not normal?
I also bring up how hard it is to maintain the diabetic balance in life. It is not just a simple teeter totter 2 way balance but a complicated 3 way balancing act between food intake, insulin dosage, and exercise level. For some reason life never seems to follow my scheduled event list. If any one of them gets knocked out of whack then the whole thing comes crumbling down, usually with bad results for me. Strange, huh. Never the highs though, I do not fear or run from them. The lows scare the hell out of me. I feel it below 90(5.0) in the mid 80s(4.4). I added the other numbers for those who use the other measure of blood sugar, mostly in Europe from what I see on twitter. I have been told many times “that isn’t low yet, don’t correct it until it is below 70”. At 85, I begin to have trouble with basic math and concentration. 85, not 70 and certainly not 60. They can all run and point to their medical books that say otherwise but I know what I feel.
Why the book? Well I have 2 reason actually. First is to let others know they are not alone. When I first became a diabetic I felt so alone. I was the only one who had to check his blood sugar, urine back then, and get shot before eating. I felt self conscious going out to resturants with the family since when the food came I had to go to the restroom and get all kinds of looks from people as my mom, dad, or me was drawing up the insulin and then getting the shot. Now it is nothing to me to shit in the open and shoot up. There are 21 million diagnosed diabetics in the US and 2.1 million are type like me. The CDC says there are many who are not diagnosed yet so their estimate is a total of 29.1 million diabetics in just the US. We all have different stories on how we found out and how we deal with it.
The second reason is to make some extra money to help pay for this very expensive disease. At least I have insurance to cover a good portion of the cost. Even paying only my 20% of the cost I shell out about $400 each month. Without the insurance that cost shy rockets. With the insulin, test strips, and the CGM supplies me monthly cost would be north of $1,600 each month and every 3 months I would have to find the $1,000 for the transmitter for the CGM. The brings the total to $2,600 that month. That doesn’t include the expense of driving 40 miles to another city to see an expert. It adds up. My wallet is hurting now. Its sore from getting screwed so much.
Well this isn’t a rant or news of a breath taking developement for a cure but I wanted to get news of this book out there. Check out my Facebook page which has a page dedicated to the company which holds the book info. I’ve posted a chunk of one mf the chapters there for you to read and see if you like it. I hope you do.