This one came to me on the drive home this morning. It is almost an hour drive so I had some spare time. When does confidence become arrogance? I know quite a few people in both clubs. I love people with confidence but can’t stand those with arrogance. The question is what is or how do you define the line between them. This post is MY definition and opinion on it.
Confidence. A simple word that bring it out in others. I like a person who knows they can do something but doesn’t rub it in your face or use it to make you feel less than human. It makes me more willing to give my idea also. The catch here is making you feel less than human. How? I can take it if someone comes along and is better at something than I am. It makes me work harder than hell to reach that level. If they take it farther I start to have issues. Does it seem like they are gloating over you by doing it? Are they trying to break your spirit by constantly bringing it up or holding it over you? It comes down to your opinion of what they are saying or doing as much as a definition in a book.
Confidence – being self assured of your own ability or talent for doing something. Playing football, working as a engineer, or just hanging with friends (it is doing something and not everyone can do it well). Doctors, nurses, and diabetic educators can easily fall into this catagory. They have vast knowledge of this disease and access to the lastest techniques and gadgets to treat it. My tell is their listening skills. I hate to sit in a room with one decribing a recent issue or a concern and feel like I am talking to the wall behind them. Yes my sugar was high here but if you look back just an hour earlier it was going low so I tooks some carbs to bring it up.
It gets really annoying when the next question is “Why didn’t you bolus for those carbs?” I just pause for a moment and stare back. Why say anymore? They obviously didn’t just hear me when I said it was going low just an hour earlier. Then my inner ass comes out to play. Me “Why would I bolus when I’m trying to raise my sugar?” Her “80 is not low yet. You don’t need to bolus.” Me “At 80 I get confused and can no longer function well.” Her “Its just because you are used to it being high. Normal doesn’t feel right anymore.”
That conversation actually happened. It may not be exactly word for word but the content is very similar. She was right about that last point though. Normal to me is not what others feel is normal. I told her that the first day we met in her office. “I’m not normal.” Plain and simple I am not, normal is not the way my life works. I can do double digit multiplication in my head most of the time but if my sugar drops below 80-85 I have trouble with even single digit multiplication. I start to second guess any decisions I need make. What I can normally do in less than a mintue now takes better than 15 minutes.
It has now become arrogance in that she feels she knows better than I what is going on and is trying to tell me how I SHOULD feel not asking how I do or did feel. She told me I wasn’t feeling a low. What about the confusion? What about the fatique? Arrogant is when someone has or reveals an exaggerated sense of their own abilities or importance. I know way too many people that fit in this catagory. Tricky part is they don’t always fit in there. Some days they are just confident and others they turn arrogant. What I got out of that conversation was “I’m a doctor just do what I say!”
As many people don’t know all the facts about the subject rather than actually know better but send you on a goose chase for the “magic” cure or treatment. 40+ years in and I have heard most of them but I can always listen to another. There may actually be some truth to it. Garlic does actually help with insulin effectiveness. Chomium is another mineral that increases insulin’s effectiveness. Think of it was a lubricant for the key (insulin) to fit into the lock (cell wall). There are others out there, some I’ve not heard of yet, which is why I always listen but don’t always follow the line of thought all the way through. I understand the science of it also. It is not magic, just science I didn’t understand that in the beginning.
I would be shocked if there is no one who sees me as arrogant at times and it is OK. I get it. As much as I see someone being arrogant with me when they really aren’t or least aren’t with everyone else. Here’s a nother big word for everyone. Perception. It’s how people see things. It is neither right nor wrong just how we see it. Optical illusions depend on percption errors to work. Our sight is working just fine, its our minds that get tricked or bent into believing they are looking at something that is not there.
My last opinion on this issue is that there are those that flat don’t care and seem to go out of their way to be arrogant. Its one of polar opposite issues. If a person comes off as overly dominant then they are most likely to have an insecurity issue. I see arrogance as a dominance issue. Someone is trying to be bigger and badder than you at something. I learned a long time ago, there is ALWAYS someone on the planet who is bigger, smarter, faster, or more of a badass than you think you are. Keep that in mind always.